Spiders in Helicopters

If you have been following me this summer you know I have been carrying on a war with the ants in the neighborhood. They have brought in reinforcements. I was minding my own business, working at the table here, when suddenly, a teensy spider caromed off the ceiling, or out of an equally teensy helicopter, and dangled right in front of me. Fearlessly he attempted to wage a frontal assault. I smashed him to smithereens, heartlessly, and in cold blood. He was summarily flushed. That was on Sunday.

Then yesterday, before I had my glasses on, the general descended. I had to call in support. This one was much larger and required braver soldiers than me to dispatch it. But, he was wily. Bionic Man thought he had squashed it sufficiently and tossed him carelessly into the trash. But I knew. This might not be the end of him. He had curled into a ball, which is what they do. I insisted Bionic Man find the body for me later. Sure enough, he was attempting to climb out of the trash using five of his eight legs, three of which were broken. You have to give him a purple heart or something just for being wounded in action and another medal for valor, carrying on even though injured, but he has gone to his final resting place now.

And I must maintain vigilance!!

All Is Not Lost

This summer I have been involved in a consumer research panel involving, from the best I can ascertain, a company that is trying to sell vegetables to non-vegetable eating people. By this I mean that they send me these vegetables to sample. They are always covered in some sauce or spice, probably to mask the flavor of the veggies. I've been steadily panning these offerings, and still they continue to send them. Here's the pattern: 1. I get an email informing me that the vegetables will be delivered that day. 2. The vegetables arrive in this cute little styrofoam container with an adorable cold pack in the bottom. 3. Inside the container is a $10 bill and instructions, all very secret, telling me the deadline to send in the response. 4. I send in my response and a week later we repeat. I feel like an industrial spy. Today my 8th box came.

Now here's the rub. My last survey was due in last week but they never sent it to me. I have been bemoaning the fact that I would never become independently wealthy now because they would drop me from the panel. I am so excited to still be a part of this historic study. And deciding what I shall do with all this money is mind boggling.

Stay tuned.