Obsessions

Between my husband and my cat I am going to lose my mind. Lately my cat has started yowling continually all day long. It used to be an alert that she wanted a treat, or her litter box wasn't perfect, or some other strange manifestation was going on. Now it seems to be all the time, for no particular reason. I started yowling back at her and it worked for a while, but now she answers me. I wonder what I am saying. I also tried giving her a time out in the bathroom. That worked once or twice, but she's on to me. I took her to the vet today and he says she has kidney disease. He actually mentioned the possibility of a transplant. I am rolling my eyes at this point. He must have forgotten I was the lady who opted not to have her cat's teeth cleaned, at a small cost to me of $395 each time. Is it just me, or does that seem a bit out of line? He might tell me if I had had her teeth cleaned annually she might not have kidney disease now. But, I pointed out to him that I could have my own teeth cleaned for a mere $100, at the time. It somehow seemed silly to spend that much on my cat's teeth, and I also wasn't interested in braces, FYI. Kidney transplant?! You must be kidding. So, then perhaps dialysis? You have to seriously ask yourself how far you are willing to go.

Then there's my husband, of 42 years who has suddenly decided that he wants to train for a triathlon. The ONLY thing standing in his way is that he isn't an Olympic swimmer. He needs to learn the freestyle, which has always eluded him. So he signs up and prepays for lessons at the local gym. Now, I am thinking sure, that's the only thing standing in his way here. It would be as if I decided that I was going to be a prima ballerina and the only thing standing in my way was that I didn't have a tutu. I digress. After his first lesson he came home all discouraged because he just couldn't get the timing down. So, he decided that he would switch to the breast stroke. Picture this: He sits in the dining room with his iPad, watching videos of people doing the breast stroke, and tries to imitate them sitting on his chair. I do wish I had a video camera. But that wasn't efficient, so he tried laying on the floor. But the floor was hard and got in the way. So tonight he was laying across a chair counting and waving his arms and kicking his feet. He even bought these peculiar swim fins that are rounded and look like duck bills. He says they are trainers. But the last time at the pool, he says, that no matter how hard he kicked his feet and waved his arms, he didn't go anyplace. I said maybe he could patent it as a new way to tread water. He was not amused.

Neither of these things would be so bad if they weren't going on continually ALL THE TIME. You know, years ago I didn't understand when an older friend of mine went out and got a job when her husband retired. I'm beginning to see the wisdom in that.