Rocket in my Pocket

I hate my cell phone. This one was to be an improvement over the last one, and it simply is not. It seems difficult to use, not intuitive at all, clumsy. And the list goes on. My offspring have demeaned me because I am not forever linked to this gadget. Frankly, if I'm at home I usually don't have it on my person, and sometimes I forget to turn it on when I leave the house. My ringtone has been changed several times and finally is on one, that I do hear. It is also now fixed to vibrate while it rings. In all the readjustments it now is louder than ever and when I turn it on, and put it in my pocket it sounds like I have a rocket in my pocket. Now, THAT is cool.