Throw off the Mayonnaise Tyranny

I've been married for 41 years to someone I don't even know. Tonight we were driving along with my mother and discovered that he doesn't like mayonnaise!! He's been PRETENDING to like it all these years, even when I refuse to eat it, he pretends. And then he acts all self righteous when I say I don't like it. What is up with that?! And then, wonder of wonders, my Mother says she doesn't really like it that much either!! So it made me wonder, does anyone in the world really like it at all? Am I just the only one bold enough to admit it? It is the chic thing to eat on everything and everyone else is afraid to admit it? Is it like the Emperor's new clothes? I say let's throw off the tyranny of mayonnaise!! Let's substitute whipped cream.

Then there's the issue of potato salad. I feel like the only one in the state of Iowa who doesn't eat potato salad. There are several issues involved. First, there's just something wrong about eating a cold cooked potato. But raw onions give me the heebie jeebies, and mustard should be banned. And then you slop mayonnaise on top of everything. I suppose the theory is no one will notice the potatoes are cold, the onions are raw, and there's mustard in it if you put enough mayonnaise on it. They will be so grossed out by the mayonnaise, they won't notice the rest. But here's the weird part, neither my mother or my husband like potato salad very much either. They've been pretending!!

I say let's throw off the mayonnaise tyranny!! NOW!!