Chapter3--The bicycle mishap

Something has always bothered me about those clips bicyclists put on their bike shoes to connect their shoes to their pedals. I have always had these visions of falling while both feet were anchored steadfastly to their respective pedals and there would be nothing I could do to save myself. Just such an incident occurred to the Bionic Man. He had borrowed a bicycle from a friend that he might continue to train for his 450 mile ride next month. He had taken the bike out for a test drive, after fastening his feet securely to the pedals. He is used to his recumbent 3 wheel bike. On the 3 wheel bike you can barely move at all and still remain okay. I think he forgot he had to keep moving on a 2 wheel bike. So, as he rummaged for jelly beans in one of his jersey pockets, out in front of the house, he simply tipped over. I wish I I had a video. It must have been like one of those cartoons where the guy just tips over sidewise like a domino. Only, unlike the cartoon version, he actually hurt himself. He used his cell phone to call us, as no one was with him at the time. He said, "I'm lying in the road out front and it's not good." We all rushed over to the window to see. Sure enough, there he was. So we dragged him into the back seat of the car and hauled him over to the ER. Now, rule of thumb on an ER visit. When they ask you what your level of pain is, do not say "2". Bad idea. Of course it's best if you are bleeding profusely or unconscious, but allot of moaning is good too. But he says, "2". So we are shuffled off into the black hole to wait. Godzilla, the ER nurse, finally came to take him to Xray. She had the compassion of a Nazi on steroids, jerked him around, wouldn't let me help her, and off they went. Then there was the doctor who couldn't, by law, tell me anything about his condition, but he was somewhere around. 'Just wait here'. Bottom line was that his hip was broken. They would have to do surgery tomorrow. The orthopedic doctor came in, and drew a diagram of the broken bone and what they proposed to do. Realize that the southern drawl is not always comprehensible, and apparently they don't understand us either. Bionic Man asked to take a picture of his drawing to post on Facebook, and the doctor was somewhat taken aback because he thought Bionic Man wanted a picture of his groin. But eventually we got that all straightened out. And once he was settled in for the night I went home. As I was leaving, we noted that there was a chart on the wall with smiley faces attached denoting levels of pain. Bionic Man at that time said, with chagrin, I don't think I was ever a 2. That face looks too happy.